careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize