I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Sorry about my life...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize