Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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