Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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