the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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