you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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