I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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