I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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