the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
