So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
