My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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