first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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