i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize