no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
