I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
