Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize