i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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