Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
