im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize