but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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