The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
A+ Viking dick
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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