I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just found a bag of teeth...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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