i think my tv is drunk
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
