youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
