So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize