he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
