So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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