The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
