watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
