"it" just moved
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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