all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
