Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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