I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Randomize
