im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It was a blind-side dick pic.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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