I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
