Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
