those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
