is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
