I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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