there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
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