Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize