I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
