You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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