Porn is love you can see.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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