I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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