i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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