I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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