I wannas sexs uuuuu
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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