My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
