So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
