Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
