Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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