I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
