96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
