i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
