yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i think i have two assholes
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
