Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
