Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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