so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
