There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So here I am, sexting at work.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize