I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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