That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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