I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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