I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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