Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
