your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
